psychedelic dreams.

2011-11-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

What would you do if something you did could potentially end something beautiful?

2011-10-16T19:32:00.001+08:00

stay hungry. stay foolish.

burn up in your atmosphere.

2011-09-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

Can't un-love Mayer.

expectations versus reality.

2011-08-31T23:26:00.000+08:00

a never-ending war.

another time and place.

2011-08-28T05:01:00.002+08:00

I want to be fearless!

///

2011-08-17T23:08:00.001+08:00

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

5.

2011-08-12T23:53:00.002+08:00

How times have changed.

perchance.

2011-08-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

/wave

Hi, I'm back. I've been part of the working class for about a month or so now and it's really been quite a ride. Waking up to a routine every morning, clickety clacking down to the bus stop and hopping on to join a gazillion other people in dire need of a caffeine boost. I wouldn't say it's been tough, but yes, the learning curve has been steep. You hit the ground running, and hopefully you'll eventually gain enough traction and speed to fly.

This week in particular has been a rather rough week--deadlines flying in, and some issues cropping up on the personal front. Quite exhausting but working late in the office paid off tonight when a free ticket for the James Blunt concert came by me at the last minute. Such a nice way of reminding me that my efforts do pay off. Thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight.

And hey, you know what? It's Friday tomorrow.

backtrack.

2011-06-16T21:43:00.004+08:00

Did a shoddy job of piecing together a panorama shot I took just after we arrived at South Lake Village. About time I did.

morning trains.

2011-03-08T13:20:00.009+08:00

Took this photo last year when I was travelling in Boston. It was morning and the train station was filled with people making their way to work. I was lugging my heavy backpack and my sleepy self to the Greyhound station to catch the bus to NYC.

Every time I see this shot I feel a sense of tranquility. I think it's something about that moment in time that you have to spend waiting for the train to arrive--it's as if the world grinds to a halt for those few minutes.

See, from the moment you wake up in the morning, you rush around the house, get changed, stuff a quick breakfast into your bag, then you get out of the house and brisk walk to the train station. Everything happens in a blur until you get through the gantries to the platform, and you are forced to wait. You can't rush the wait because you don't control the trains and when they arrive. For those few minutes, you have no choice but to be at peace with the world and move at the same pace as everyone around you. Until, of course, the train arrives and zooms you off to wherever you're headed.

spin a little tighter/and the world's a little brighter.

2011-03-05T11:21:00.010+08:00

Hi, cyber world.

I realised today (oh horrors, of horrors!) that lately, this blog has had a severe lack of original material written by yours truly. It's been 80 percent images and videos from other sources and a very generous estimate of 20 percent for my own idle thoughts and ramblings. I am thusly obliged to contribute an entry of decent length to make up for this grave deficit of originality.

So, my life lately has been nothing short of pretty darn good. Of course it's not been absolutely smooth-sailing, but the few bad moments that I've faced are insignificant compared to the multitude of good that has come my way. Been meeting up with people that matter, turning up for important appointments, sharing meaningful moments with certain individuals, and making new memories to look back to.

Yup, I'm happy--not because of some large scale 'omg'-inducing events or out of this world experiences, but because of all the small, wonderful moments I've had that combine into (I borrow from Maroon 5) a simple kind of lovely.

Jealous, much? Ha. Well, your happiness is in your hands. Make it happen.

With love, fx.

sprinkles!

2011-02-26T13:21:00.003+08:00

(((:

reunion.

2011-02-05T17:44:00.004+08:00

it hit me today that it's been at least 2 years since all six of us have been together in the same place, at the same time.

it's been a long time.

What?! Capulet's daughter?

2011-02-03T01:47:00.003+08:00

"With you, I was someone/But without her, I am nothing!"

Have been obsessed with this song since my secondary school days. My favourite part comes in at about 2:35. This song is part of the French musical adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and this particular part is when Romeo defends his love for Juliet in the face of objection from his family and friends. What can I say, I just love it.

Happy Chinese New Year, all!

nothing to fear.

2011-01-19T12:09:00.006+08:00

my favourite l'arc-en-ciel song of all time. it's a song about dreams and aspirations, a reminder not to let them slip right through your fingers. played on shuffle when i was listening to my ipod while running this morning. had to share!

10 random and very much unrelated thoughts.

2011-01-16T13:27:00.003+08:00

1. job, where art thou?

2. 'far away' by nickelback is timeless

3. proud. swept and mopped the whole house including kitchen + toilets today. big accomplishment.

4. somewhat related to #3, i don't understand people who wash the house daily/every other day. why not leave it for a longer time and when you do get down to washing it, the results will be markedly obvious and thus translating into a higher sense of achievement? it's more efficient too. that being said, i am not unhygienic. really.

5. why are brake lights on cars red?

6. note to self: 23rd of january 2011 is a sunday, not a friday.

7. blackberry should really change the way they register the timestamp of text messages.

8. garlic naan. i want.

9. please, let it rain.

10. my whatever afterthought.

spin like a record.

2011-01-16T08:06:00.004+08:00

dedication.

geek love.

2011-01-04T18:56:00.006+08:00

-from xkcd

quote: "that's the best kind of love!"

couldn't agree more.

i own the light and i don't need no help.

2011-01-03T08:39:00.002+08:00

first song i'm hooked on for 2011. i don't know why, it just keeps playing in my head.

put your hands up!

and, the violin cover too.

2010 + 1

2011-01-01T07:33:00.006+08:00

lying sleepless in bed this morning, i realised that i'd spent the majority of 2010 out of singapore, away from some of the dearest people in my life. if there's anything i'd say i regretted, that would be not being able to be there for those who're important to me as much as i could or should have. that aside, i like the person i have become over the past year and am proud of the person i am right now, stepping into this new year. 2010 was a decent year which ended unexpectedly, but not in a bad way.

i don't know what's in store for me in 2011, but i'll do my best to make it a beautiful one.

2010-12-28T21:44:00.003+08:00

"In other words, what we seek is some kind of compensation for what we put up with."

-murakami

2010-12-25T10:23:00.004+08:00

it's christmas, so i thought i'd share one of my favourite christmas songs of all time.

have a good one, all of you!

2010-12-22T10:08:00.002+08:00

'Expectations'. What a word.

Just saying it can be a burden sometimes.

take me there right now.

2010-12-21T01:46:00.004+08:00

it's late, and i can't seem to get to sleep. quiet nights are perfect for revisiting old songs and artists that one has grown up with. was talking to N about some acts that we would pay to see live the other day. first act that popped into my mind (almost without any hesitation)--Robbie Williams. he is perhaps one of the most charismatic live performers i have ever seen (on youtube), i literally get the chills just watching him live on youtube. imagine being in this crowd:

his classic. yes, i would brave the crowd just to watch him perform.

and this.

possibly his best song ever. doesn't watching him live (on youtube) already give you the chills? yes, he is that good.

what i would pay to watch him live.

timeless.

2010-12-18T23:28:00.002+08:00

always makes me smile.

the world would be a painting and i'd live inside with you.

2010-12-18T11:22:00.003+08:00

earworm: if the stars were mine by melody gardot

had a good run this morning that helped clear my head. feeling pretty darn good right now.

yup, everything's back on track.

swimming towards the sunset.

2010-12-15T21:12:00.006+08:00

Someone suggested that I start blogging again, and I think I should. Writing nourishes the soul. I haven't written in awhile, and now it feels kinda weird, sitting here and typing out my disorganized thoughts. Looks like the cogs need some oiling before the words and thoughts can start flowing smoothly again.

These few months, I've been struggling with the concept of dreams and ambition. To some people, those two words are mere synonyms, but to others they have very different meanings. Alot of senior, more experienced people have been dishing out advice to me on my future (believe me when I say I am grateful for all their wise insights) and more often than not, it sounds something like this "If you're ambitious....you should/could do this this this or that to become this..." Most of the time the endpoint involves me earning tons of money and having lots of power in my hands. It really led me to wonder, what if my dreams do not involve me running a huge multinational or earning truckloads of money, but it was just to lead a stable and comfortable enough life surrounded by the people that I love? Does that mean that I don't have an ambition?

The word 'ambition' is defined as "a cherished desire" by the dictionary--a simple and pretty neutral definition that does not point to any material accomplishment required in applying that word to someone. The sad truth is that we can't totally escape the social definitions of 'ambition', 'success', 'accomplishment' which often bring the idea of fame, power and fortune into play. To me, I suppose dreams are a purer form of ambition, undisturbed by the pressures of society, something that I can truly call my own. Ambition, on the other hand has a touch of reality and social influence to it.

For now I can only hope that as I step into the working world and I mature as a person, I don't lose sight of my dreams--don't get sucked into the rat race, don't forget to stop and smell the roses, and don't end up looking back full of regrets for things that I should have done when I could have. I will strive to reach the point where my ambitions and dreams can converge into one, and that's a promise to myself.

1.

2010-05-06T23:57:00.004+08:00

in less than 24 hours, it's going to be official.

what am i feeling right now? hmm, i can't quite grasp it.

somewhere swinging between thankful, excited, nervous and scared would be the closest i could get to describing this strange emotion that's been causing a turmoil inside me since mid afternoon today. it's like...there's a pinball that just keeps ricocheting off the walls of my tummy, going back and forth without any set path nor intention of stopping.

someone should come up with a word for this emotion so i wouldn't have to try to describe it.

2.

2010-05-05T20:29:00.000+08:00

The Mothership has arrived! *beams*

7.

2010-04-30T23:53:00.001+08:00

introducing the latest addition to my freezer:

ben and jerry's MUDPIE! it's a new flavour, and it is absolutely delectable. it's on offer at wegman's again, i know i sound like an obasan, but this arbitrage opportunity is too delicious to pass off.

how could anyone ever get sick of ben and jerry's?

just thinking about it makes me go (^____^)

8.

2010-04-29T22:04:00.003+08:00

location: lockwood library study area

study buddy: caroline (quote: "you can blog: 'caroline can't decide if she should drink her cranberry tea and she thinks fangxun is a bad study buddy cause while she is stressing out, fangxun is watching shows and snacking.'")

supposed to be: studying for the last final exam of my undergraduate career

actually: blogging and snacking

relishing in the fact that: we've got the whole row of study desks to ourselves, which makes me feel an odd little twinge of pride...like this is my own land.

it's reading week, and i guess i have been reading...somewhat.

took the bicycle that j left behind for a spin the other day with carol. springgg is here and the flowers are finally waking up from their slumber.

i don't think i'll ever get enough of the sunset by south lake.

16.

2010-04-22T11:44:00.001+08:00

"Life is slippery.

Here, take my hand."

18.

2010-04-20T06:35:00.001+08:00

the countdown has officially begun.

some kind of wonderful.

2010-04-18T00:48:00.004+08:00

i've met a decent amount of people in my life thus far, irregardless of how well we get along, i've always found a trait or something that i admire about them. some, more than the others, but there's always something worth learning from everyone. amongst them, i especially admire those with drive and a great deal of passion for what they do in life. they make me feel small and humble me; they make me want to work harder to be on par with them. they are the ones that make me continually remind myself, "yup, gotta get there, fx." i confess that i still feel pretty lost sometimes, but i believe i'll get there one day soon. right now, i just have to put in my best so there'll be no regrets.

--------

on another note, due to the great amounts of korean media i've come into contact with lately, here's my latest earworm. the guy that comes in at 0:53 has an absolutely charming voice.

G.

2010-04-07T22:10:00.002+08:00

bought my graduation robes today. the cashier at the counter flashed a smile and said "congratulations." while handing them over to me.

hmmm, mixed feelings.

colours seem to fade.

2010-04-07T06:58:00.004+08:00

it's pretty darn early in the morning and i've been up since awhile ago, working on a presentation. unexpectedly, it's shaping out to be one of the best moments this week. i'm sitting here in the quiet of the morning, with the view outside my window slowly being lighted up by the sunrise and enjoying a large dose of amos lee. yes, amos lee is excellent early morning music. feeling very blissful right now.

catch the wind in your sails.

2010-03-31T23:10:00.004+08:00

with friends studying all over the world right now, facebook creates wonders by keeping me updated on every movement that they make, well at least all that they (and their friends) bother to update. lately there's been a large bout of photo updates of the many different places that my friends have travelled to, and taking glimpses into their lives through the photos (yes, slightly voyeuristic) has submerged me in a suffocating ~~need~~ want to travel. perhaps it sounds ridiculous to hear this since i am in the USA and technically i'm already a 'traveller' in the sense that i'm an alien in a foreign land and i have been going around, but no, that's not what i mean.

having been surrounded by so much 'american-ness' these few months, i'm struck with an urge to go somewhere asian. not some crowded chinatown marked on a tourist map and demarcated by a few streets, but somewhere authentically asian. taiwan, vietnam, china, japan...just thinking about it makes me want to run out of the school right now and....do something about it. catch the wind in my sails, explore, dream!

but needs trump wants, with a few weeks left to graduation, the task of applying for jobs/internships takes precedence over any such plans. plus such plans should be left till i have my own means of financing them. thus, it only leaves for me to keep following my friends' travels on facebook, and to blog about it here. but mark my words, world, my dreams shall not be relegated to a mere unrealistic want, i willllll realise them.

till then, work work work!

REASONS TO SMILE POST #2

2010-03-05T22:36:00.002+08:00

#1: one biggg reason for this whole week. IT'S SPRING BREAK!!!
i'll be embarking on a roadtrip to montreal and toronto. let's hope no one gets car sick along the way! will take lots and lots of pictures. woohoo!

because there's always a reason to smile.

2010-02-27T09:03:00.009+08:00

i have decided to start on my own little project entitled "reasons to smile", which has me listing out the reasons i have to smile each week. i've always considered myself an optimist, and i always believe that no matter how crappy things are, there's always a reason to smile. so here's my little project for myself, i expect that some weeks there'll be so many reasons and i'd have trouble listing all of them, and some weeks, i'll be having trouble just getting past listing 3. but no matter what, there's always something worth being happy about.

so here goes for my maiden post, REASONS TO SMILE POST #1, in no particular order whatsoever.

#1: in these arms--the swell season

recently discovered this song (kudos to The BFF), and i've pretty much been subsisting on it the whole week. here's a little bit from what glen hansard says at the beginning of this clip, "this song's about the idea that there's a deep knowledge in every situation that things are gonna work out...that in your life you may have to wait a long time, but things come around again..." i absolutely love the two of them.

#2: someone/some random group of people building a snow sculpture (a very detailed one, i must note) of a certain male appendage in the middle of the school field. (a prank, i suppose) you have to admit, that was pretty funny. especially when they added a hat and a mustache on it one day after perhaps as a halfhearted attempt to somewhat mask the true 'identity' of it so the school authorities would take a longer time to discover it (?) it was gone by lunchtime today when i walked by.

#3: receiving a surprise package from pao in the mail! <3

#4: imagination by lightfromemirates

saw this while browsing through deviantart the other day. beautiful, innit?

#5: receiving good news! finally, my hard work has paid off. so for those who had initially scoffed, "stupid girl, what're you doing taking up extra work?" there you go, eat your words, i'm serving them back to you on a platter.

#6: catching up with friends!

ivy's 21st birthday, on the left, the birthday girl herself, and the other pretty lady being yimei. had an awesome time just chilling and talking to them. next time, the whole group please!

#7: reading this on givesmehope:

"A while after my grandfather died, my grandmother peeked into a pocket of his wallet that she'd previously missed.

Inside was a note, written by my grandfather on his deathbed. 'Anne, the past 40 years have been as pleasant as a June breeze. All my love, John.'"

#8: SNOW, falling incessantly and piling up outside my window.

#9: added a new quote to my collection:

"没有调配不出的美味，没有不能满足的味蕾。"

i like it because it just reminds me that it's never impossible to connect with someone on some level. i suppose it's more appealing to me as a marketing major, the idea that there isn't an impossible customer, we just have to know how to reach them. "touchpoints, touchpoints!" as reiterated by professor neil holbert two summers ago.

#10: zhihao's bruce lee pancake.

what are your reasons to smile this week? (:

2010-02-13T00:45:00.001+08:00

beautiful snow tonight. the kind that floats gently down from the sky, drifting slowly around you, making the world seem like it's moving in slow motion. for that moment, just that moment, nothing else really matters besides immersing oneself in the serenity of the wonderful winter night.

tonight was a good night. (:

2010-02-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

saw this on a toilet cubicle door today:

"it's not about how many breaths you take,

but how many moments take your breath away."

crunch time right now, study study study! off to lockwood now!

stinky, out!

running, running, as fast as i can.

2010-01-28T01:21:00.002+08:00

lately, whenever i have too many thoughts swimming around in my head, i find myself heading out to the gym for a good, long run (it's way too cold now to run outdoors, though some crazies still do). running has a strange way of wiping out every thought in your mind, you just focus on putting one foot in front of the other and plod on towards...pretty much nowhere, since you're on the treadmill.

i guess you don't think about anything because your body's just too focused on getting past the 3 stages of running (as defined by yours truly). for the first 10-20mins, your legs are screaming out at you to stop, then you push past the pain to the second stage when you reach a state where you don't feel anything. perhaps it's the adrenaline that numbs you and your mind, the feeling of lightness a reward for enduring for the arduous first 20minutes. honestly, you feel pretty darn invincible at that stage. run for another 20minutes, why not? bring. it. on! towards the end, you just feel the tips of your fingers tingling, your heart working on overdrive to pump blood to every nook and cranny of your body. and before you know it, you've gone almost an hour without using your brain. amazing!

back to the point of plodding towards nowhere on the treadmill. come to think of it, the first person that ever demonstrated the use of the treadmill probably was the laughingstock of the town. i mean, running on the spot, really? must've looked kinda silly. we only think we look normal because everyone else around us is doing that too. nevertheless, if you ever do feel kinda silly running on the treadmill while watching the telly, just look around at the dudes pumpin' iron and be comforted. big grown men grunting and frowning over inanimate objects, gritting their teeth while battling a few blocks of metal. who looks sillier, you tell me.

if the people of the past were to travel to the present and land up in the gym due to some miscalculation in their time machine mechanisms (obviously a mistake because no one travels into the future with the intention of finding out how people work out), they'd probably find us highly amusing. well, at least i would.

won't let you fall.

2010-01-26T12:36:00.006+08:00

nothing like a good Office episode to remind you why you adore The Office. speaking of which, i've been wanting to share this Office clip for the longest time, just never got around to it. too bad embedding was disabled. CLICK ME.

(sidenote: they're at niagara falls on the maid of the mist! I WAS THERE TOO! ha, one of the perks of being in the US where most television is made)

haven't felt the urge to write lately, will update soon, promise. for now, do revel in the absolute awesomeness of this clip! i totally won't mind a wedding in the likes of this one.

hello, 2010.

2010-01-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

spent new year's at NYC with The BFF, i now know why people fall in love with the city. this may be a little overdue, but happy new year, folks.

2009-12-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

BFF is here! the wonders of airplanes and time zone differences. <3

UB flash rave.

2009-12-14T20:35:00.003+08:00

flash rave in the basement of our school library! (check out the toilet roll at around 1 minute) must be a good reprieve from all the exam stress. too bad i wasn't there, but i heard that even the campus police were really cool about it.

2009-12-14T04:18:00.004+08:00

[online, after the final new products management class]

jarry: our group didn't say goodbye today.

me: hmm, i'm sure we can meet up next semester!

jarry: it's the first time i'm missing my group after 4 years here.

me: aww.

jarry: it's like falling in love...

me: aww. (:

much love goes out to my marketing group for this semester. <3

the rocking chair test.

2009-12-09T01:30:00.002+08:00

today in class, our professor asked us to do the rocking chair test. basically, imagine yourself in your golden years sitting in your rocking chair, what would you be doing?

my immediate image was of myself relaxing in the rocking chair, watching the sunset and having ice cream.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

2009-12-07T04:38:00.004+08:00

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each prayer received, and each wish resigned."

-Alexander Pope

blanketed in snow.

2009-12-01T07:02:00.000+08:00

woke up to this, this morning. it marks the start of much much more! this is lake-effect snow, by the way, it happens when it's actually very clear in your area, but the cold winds move across warmer lake water (in our case, lake erie) picking up water vapour which freezes into snow. doesn't happen in many places, i guess buffalo's just lucky.

weary feet!

2009-11-29T09:30:00.002+08:00

am back from boston, will update with photos soooon. now i'm just glad to be in the comfort of my own room and bed. for now, a nice little shot of my travel buddies will suffice.

now put your hands in the air!

2009-11-25T06:58:00.003+08:00

had the craziest weekend in a reallyyy long time. hung out alot, introduced new friends to old friends, got to know some of my new friends better, and met lots more new people. didn't get any work done, but well, had truckloads of fun, which made it all the more worthwhile!

yuhei and i were invited by my newly made turkish friend, yusa, over to his place to sample some turkish dishes that him and his roommates were cooking.

here's the japanese croquette that yuhei and his friend, mari made for us!

mahout (i'm really not too sure how to spell this), a turkish tomato based stew dish with lots of garbonzo beans and other stuff. the photo does not do the dish justice!

a meat dish. i have no idea whether it even has a name, haha. yusa taught us to use bread to soak up the oil around the base of the pan and then eat it. deeelicious.

group shot. (:

the story behind this shot was hilarious. we couldn't find a high enough spot to place the cameras so all the boys scrambled around the house, trying to find a way to do it.

one of them exclaimed, "we are civil engineers, we can do this!" (most of the turkish students are here to do a degree in civil engineering) and proceeded to get the rest to hoist up one huge table upon the coffee table. with the table perched precariously on top of the coffee table, we quickly huddled up to take this shot. ha.

flying to boston early tomorrow morning. happy thanksgiving, my loves!

let's get lost!

2009-11-16T06:59:00.004+08:00

went out for a tummy-warming lunch of pho with j today, and after that, we spontaneously decided to make full use of the car and go somewhere we hadn't been before. at that, i happily suggested, "let's get lost!" and getting lost was exactly what we did. well, kinda, if you ignore the gps that was installed in the car.

williamsville was where we ended up, with a beautiful waterfall in a park wedged in the midst of all the civilization. it's a little reprieve from all the hustle and bustle--the pace of life immediately changes once you step into the park. found a perfect spot to sit and daydream by the pond at a bench under a huge willow tree. j was just preoccupied with scaring the ducks. what a kid, i know.

the next stop was meant to be a short one, just dropping into a nearby mall to check out what stores were there, but we ended up spending hours there in the arcade reliving our childhood days and leaving very much of our fate to lady luck who decided to shine down on us for the most part of our time there. we left with a new addition to the family, a huge stuffed elmo (plus a tiny bag of jellybeans) for whom we traded in our overflowing bucket of tokens for.

final stop was at SPoT coffee, a coffeehouse that's cosy and has a menu of very fun and interesting drinks to choose from. predictably, i chose the cocomoco, a drink with coffee that was mixed with chocolate milk, topped with whipped cream, a sprinkle of cocoa powder and a healthy drizzle of chocolate sauce. here's a photo of it, joel took one of it the last time he was there. does it not look absolutely drool-worthy?

headed back to watch the basketball game our school was playing against vermont, disappointing match, but all the events of the day pretty much cancelled out all the disappointment, and my internal good/bad day balance was definitely still leaning very much on the 'good day' side.

one of the best weekends i've had in ages, owing very much to spontaneity and great company. and a big shout-out to my spontaneous buddy jesmund, who's an awesome friend to have despite how we disagree on well, practically everything. but that's what makes for great friendships, no?

maybe in fifty years.

2009-11-13T03:22:00.007+08:00

i was sitting in the subway sandwich outlet off the freeway having dinner with J, when the door tinkled and in walked an elderly couple. her, with her silver hair swept immaculately into a tight bun at the nape of her neck, walking slowly with her arm looped through the crook of his arm. him, with his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, leaning on his walking stick for support, and yet, still proudly leading his wife to the booth. he went to the counter to order while she grabbed the utensils and napkins.

there was a strange disconnect between this elderly couple and the setting we were in--cheap fluorescent lighting, crappy rap music blaring through the speakers hanging from the ceiling and unswept floors with crumbs and scraps of the previous customers' meals littering the ground. they were so out of place and still, so comfortable in it.

they hardly spoke, but they moved in perfect unison, complementing one another. he unwrapped the sandwich and broke it into four parts, placing them neatly side by side. she unwrapped the straw and placed it in the cup so he would not be troubled by having to pick up his cup with his shaky hands. they ate in silence, chewing slowly on each bite that they took. occasionally, a glance in the other's direction and a napkin was slid over to the other, the drink passed from one to the other.

i was captivated. the routine borne from years of practice, so well rehearsed that no cues were needed at all. so simple, so ordinary, yet, so beautiful.

豆浆油条

2009-11-10T13:42:00.007+08:00

STINKY. says:
i want 豆浆油条
can you bring it for me

FTC hao says:
okok
FTC hao writes:

STINKY. says:
hahaha
awwwwwww
i wish i could grab it from the screen
----------------------------------------------

zhihao strikes again! can't wait to see him here in december.

just stand still, while we fall.

2009-10-31T09:26:00.001+08:00

short roadtrip to letchworth state park last week to catch all the colours of fall. definitely worth the drive. nature's really an acquired taste, i learn to appreciate it more as i grow older.

could fate be so unkind.

2009-10-30T21:39:00.000+08:00

how do you get through to someone who has built a fortress around oneself?

2009-10-30T19:40:00.001+08:00

"today, if you become frightened,
instead, become inspired."

stand by me.

2009-10-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

'nuff said!

spectrum of warmth.

2009-10-19T06:08:00.003+08:00

autumn...my favourite season. something about the leaves turning red and gold makes me happy.

cheeeesecake.

2009-10-16T05:23:00.002+08:00

pao on picking a cheesecake flavour for me:

"i wasn't really sure which one you'd like, but i saw the word 'mud' in this one and i knew i couldn't go wrong."

yup, my chocolate oreo mudslide cheesecake...heavenly.

on a side note, the weather forecast says it may snow tonight!

before sunset.

2009-10-13T08:02:00.007+08:00

took a stroll to the woods across the lake from our place the other day and found a serene spot perfect for spending a lazy afternoon at reading a good book with a cup of hot, steaming coffee. caught some shots of the last rays of the day casting its glow on the pretty autumn leaves.

milo dinosaur. <3

2009-10-09T09:44:00.002+08:00

milo dinosaur from thousands of miles away, courtesy of zhihao!

old skool black and white.

2009-10-08T02:53:00.002+08:00

2009-10-06T11:08:00.000+08:00

EXHAUSTED. not a single ounce of energy left in my body. sleeeeeeep.

6.

2009-10-04T06:01:00.007+08:00

it's pouring outside. when it pours, the lake looks like one solid, wide expanse of concrete. it's finally the weekend, and i can finally breathe!

had a steamboat last week with the girls, we substituted the steamboat pot with our rice cookers which worked out just fine! it was such a feast i think we were full even the next day.

the other day in class, one of our professors asked us to list what we would do if we had 7 minutes left to live. immediately, a hand shot up, and one of our classmates asked, "does it have to be legal?" haha.

am really learning to enjoy the solitude of having the whole apartment to myself for the whole day. singing along to music without worrying about the strains of my off-pitch voice passing through the paper thin walls and tormenting my poor roommate. blasting music, sitting around and just daydreaming without interruption. basically just doing things without inhibitions.

the weather's getting cold lately, time to put those long woolly scarves and gloves on standby!

happiness has a violent roar.

2009-10-02T04:05:00.007+08:00

suddenly swept by the urge to blog, a need to reconnect with the rest of humanity. it's ironic that i'd choose to use the most impersonal platform to do that, but perhaps the lack of knowledge of whom exactly i'm speaking to puts me at more ease to express myself freely.

can't quite put a finger on what i'm feeling right now, it's a mish mash of fatigue, wistfulness, anxiety, longing...? for what, i don't know. it just feels like there are so many thoughts racing through my mind right now i can't catch any and make sense out of them. i guess confusion may be a good word to use to describe it. but confusion's good, right? after you get out of it, you'll be clearheaded, or so they say.

people that i meet often ask me, 'do you miss home much?' and the truth is, no, not that much. the people, yes. even then, the number of them that i really do miss, the ones that make me feel a tug in my heart when i think of them, i could count with one hand. one of the self discoveries made while being over here is that i'm pretty much okay being alone, no creeping sense of loneliness or anything. that discovery actually made me feel a little empowered--that i probably wouldn't be in a bad shape if i were to just run off somewhere and become a totally new person, no baggage or ties with anyone.

a selfish thought, i know.

the thought that counts!

2009-09-28T22:49:00.002+08:00

yayyy.

2009-09-18T05:39:00.001+08:00

what's it going to be like for me, one year down the road?

a taste of home.

2009-08-30T23:55:00.000+08:00

Question: Which Singaporean dish do you miss most right now?

i asked that to my fellow crazy friends who braved the chilly winds atop the observatory deck overlooking the niagara falls for close to 3 hours just so we could catch the fireworks at 10pm.

amidst frenetically rubbing our palms together for warmth, bopping up and down on the balls of our feet and trying to convince ourselves that we weren't out of our minds, the answers came from everyone without hesitation.

"None."
"Bak Chor Mee!"
"I could do with a hot, steaming plate of Hokkien Mee right now."
"Mmm, Chicken Rice."

for me, it was Orh Lua, however you spell that. the more angmoh way of saying that would be Fried Oyster Pancake.

oh, what i would do for a taste of home right now.

a warm and fuzzy feeling.

2009-08-28T20:45:00.004+08:00

caught the stunning sunset by the lake near my apartment the other day.

the other side of the world.

2009-08-18T14:13:00.007+08:00

current location: buffalo, new york. the flight here was torturous, more about that another time. for now, just a few photos and then off to bed, because i need to win the battle against Mr. Jetlag.

took a walk round the campus with the flight buddies today in a bid to get self accustomed to the vastness of uncluttered land that the americans have the luxury of building gimoungous university complexes on.

the flight buddies.

the campus...just part of it.

wild flowers along the way.

south lake village--my on campus housing.

i'm pretty lucky cause i have an awesome view of the lake at where i'm staying.
presenting...the view from my room. (apologies for the reflection in the glass!)

dusk.

the cosmos.

2009-07-12T10:39:00.014+08:00

image from google images.

am pleased today, because i finally found out the name of the flower that i adore while watching japan hour this morning. for the longest time, i've said it was a daisy because it came pretty close to it and i'd always thought it was some spinoff of the daisy family. i particularly like the one above, cause that colour's rather rare. turns out that it actually is classified in the same flower family as the daisy. the name, is the Cosmos flower. isn't that such a pretty name? a flower which represents a balanced universe.

i absolutely love the sight of a sprawling field with a patchwork of cosmos flowers. gives me yet another reason to want to travel to japan which is home to many many many fields of beautiful cosmos in spring and fall.

image from japanphotojournal.com

relaxing, innit? there's even a cute little caterpillar on the flower at the bottom right corner. reminds me of the days when i used to play with those fat and fuzzy caterpillars.

i shall leave you all with this sight, while i go burrow myself back into the little hole i've created in the middle of the mound of finance i have left to read for tomorrow's exam. okay, so i'm exaggerating, it's not really that much of an uphill task, but i really should be studying.

till i'm in the mood to blog again, ta!

skippin' a beat.

2009-07-11T16:29:00.002+08:00

earworm: heartbeat by scouting for girls

save for some fanatical moments, there's only been plenty of 'wuhh' moments which really left my mind in a whirl, plus a nauseating experience at the polyclinic for The Tuberculosis Shot. the second half of summer hasn't felt very much like summer at all. it's just, bam, bam, bam! everything just comes together at once leaving not much time for one to even wonder why they are doing them.

well, of course, in the big picture, i know why. we all know why. as if we haven't heard enough lectures on that already. it's all for our own good, our own future. -nod- but, there's always that teeny doubting part in me.

doubts aside, right now i'm just dreaming of a huge ice cream sundae with brownie chunks and hot fudge overflowing like lava.

note to self: need to start packing for US soon!

toothpicks in eyes.

2009-07-03T23:00:00.002+08:00

the joys of timer and multiple shot functions. the ub chalet was fun, but i guess we've pretty much outgrown the whole...staying up all night and doing crazy stuff phase. we just....went to sleep at one am, religiously every night. despite the overpriced dinners, puke-clogged toilets, over-chlorined pool and budget barbeque, it was great spending time with everyone in that short little break we had in between half-sems.

2009-07-01T23:50:00.003+08:00

"I do feel that I've managed to make something I could maybe call my own world... over time... little by little. And when I'm inside it, to some extent, I feel kind of relieved. But the very fact I felt I had to make such a world probably means that I'm a weak person, that I bruise easily, don't you think? And in the eyes of society at large, that world of mine is a puny little thing. It's like a cardboard house: a puff of wind might carry it off somewhere."

-after dark, murakami

good days overwrite bad days.

2009-06-19T23:48:00.007+08:00

chilled out today. totally took my mind off work and the exams looming, and just got into 'relax' mode. went out and hung out with important people.

chatted over soup, naan and coffee, listened(tolerated) to wy's bad jokes and discovered how bad we were at cam-whoring (shot taken by someone else. thank you, stranger!). it's been a longggggggggg half-sem and with the conclusion of it a mere one week and two exam hurdles away, this short break to recuperate is, i must say, a much deserved one before we embark on the last lap of the race. oh, look how tired we all look. zoom in and you'll see pretty lifeless eyes. sleep-deprived individuals do not make for good photo material.

dinner was spent with The Best Friend, and we pretty much inhaled all the yummy food at california pizza kitchen.

spinach and artichokes dip. yum, yum.

peking duck pizza! ARE YOU SALIVATING YET?

in response to someone's question to describe me, The Best Friend said, "just think of someone that is the exact opposite of who i am."

pretty true.

today was a good day.

the dream line.

2009-06-13T16:57:00.001+08:00

immortality.

2009-05-30T23:09:00.007+08:00

flower lights! definitely going with me to UB so i can string them up around my apartment. thanks, A.

can't say i'm all psyched up about being back in school, i kinda forgot how demanding summer courses were. well, maybe they aren't demanding and perhaps i'm just lazy. i'm just getting into the rhythm of things now.

i must say, afternoon naps do strange things to your body. when you wake up, you really feel like a kid, back in kindergarten. after all, those were the days when we actually had the luxury of time to take naps after lunch.

memorable words from today's visit to NTUA club:
"Don't strive for greatness--be immortal."

silver lining.

2009-05-23T11:42:00.003+08:00

trust your best friend be there to give you lessons on EQ, spout nonsense, get you lost, treat you to macaroons (that's how you spell it) and give you a flower out of the blue simply because she claims you've been 'barren'. i guess the dreadful one and a half hour bus ride was worth it.

thought.

2009-05-18T20:08:00.002+08:00

when you were a little kid, would you ever have thought/imagined that you would turn out the way you are today?

nineteen.

2009-05-06T17:57:00.009+08:00

i originally expected this year's to be a quiet one. one spent lazily at home, just letting the day slowly creep by. after all, in retrospect, i didn't do that much that i could be proud of in my eighteenth year, and thus did not warrant much of a celebration as i stepped into my nineteenth.

moreover, the traditional birthday meal with the family had been enjoyed the day before at a korean restaurant with faux maple leaf decor and lights that looked like the moon. yup, there it is:

felt pretty happy sitting under it, fall's my favourite season. it was rather fake, but still, imagine fiery red/glowing orange maple leaves hanging off arched branches above your head...it does serve to create some sort of a warm and fuzzy atmosphere. or maybe it's just me.

bibimbab. one of my favourite dishes of all time. simple yet satisfying. never fails to whet my appetite. it was a good meal, and even better with loved ones all around since we hardly ever sit down as a family for a meal.

come monday morning, i was lazing around as i had so envisioned my newly turned 19 year old self to be doing. but then there was this persistent caller on the landline, which prompted me to act and go all the way downstairs to take the call in case there was some life or death situation on the other side of the line. this led to an interesting turn of events which took me to my front gate where a group of my crazy (and very sweet) friends had gathered with a cake big enough to smash my face in and still have leftovers to serve each of us a substantially large slice.

unfortunately someone in my family had two sets of house keys in their possession which meant i was pretty much locked in my own house. long story short, i scaled my gate with such dexterity that i hope i made my ninja friends proud, and the whole gang headed to k.a.p for the actual cake cutting and the rest of the shebang.

there they are! thank you, friends. we ended up at kbox where i got hold of incriminating evidence of bad singing which i shall not post online for fear of ruining reputations but more importantly to add to my collection of items which i can blackmail them with next time. ha!

at home that night, mommy had bought me an adorable cake with a Forever Friends bear lookalike perched atop it. and oh! look at those fancy little roses. she knows how much i love cakes with random cartoon figurines on them. last year it was doraemon. love it, mmm.

gimongous thank you to everyone for their well wishes and presents. if there's anything i should be thankful for, it would be the people that surround me. family, friends, love y'all.

2009-04-25T23:30:00.003+08:00

Love Story (Taylor Swift) meets Viva La Vida (Coldplay) by Jon Schmidt ft. Steven Sharp Nelson

two of my favourite instruments together. isn't the arrangement just so wonderful?

no really, it's just a phase.

2009-04-20T21:57:00.006+08:00

one exam down, four to go. found new spot to study today.
oh, excitement. *__*

at least 99cents sushi dinner with some of the bunch was pretty fun. someone should really come up with a buffet place where the people are on the conveyor belt and just move along in circles to various stations without even having to get off their seats. sheds a whole new light on the term 'convenience foods' doesn't it? talk about the positive correlation between availibility of convenience foods and obesity rates.

someone spilled curry on me today. whoever the cause, lacked the propriety to offer a simple apology. i thought we learnt manners in kindergarten. now my curry stained jacket will have to go take a little tumble in the washing machine. thanks alot, stranger.

should really be studying now, but i don't really feel the urgency... ... ...okay i shall go study. what a monotonous entry this has turned out to be! kinda reflects what i'm feeling right now, which is pretty much...ho-hum. 8-/

all of my dreams for you to swallow.

2009-04-17T21:03:00.003+08:00

therapy today came in the form of crimson skies, solitary moments, japanese food, garment shopping experiences, nail polish, the boy named Crow, writing, merging lanes, and susan boyle.

someday, one day.

2009-04-15T23:57:00.002+08:00

your opinion--what is that?

SIGNS.

2009-04-13T22:00:00.002+08:00

created by: Publicis Mojo and @RadicalMedia
directed by: Patrick Hughes

i love it. so little spoken yet so much conveyed.

2009-04-10T22:42:00.004+08:00

Captain Harville: "Let me just observe that all histories are against you; all stories, prose, and verse. I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which did not have something to say on women's fickleness."

Anne: "But they were all written by men."

-Persuasion, Jane Austen

steel yourself!

2009-04-04T23:46:00.002+08:00

feeling like...a shrimp amongst many others in a pot. the lone one that remains defiantly straight when the rest have all curled up in resignation. but what for, really? you may be a rebel, but at the end of the day, just a rebel without a cause.

fool's play.

2009-04-01T12:28:00.005+08:00

j: i originally wanted to trick you into believing something i said today, since it's April Fools' Day.

me: o..kay

j: but i figured since you are so blur and you always believe me when i'm lying to you, i shall make today a day when i don't trick or lie to you

me: how kind of you

j: lol, i was expecting a 'thank you'

me: thank you.

I THINK IT'S TIME FOR ALL THOSE MORALS TO LEAVE.

2009-03-29T11:59:00.002+08:00

earworm: loving you by paulo nutini

woooooooot! paulo nutini is the love lately.

note to self: NEED. TO. TAKE. STOCK. (SOON)

S IS FOR SCHIZNIT!

2009-03-27T01:11:00.001+08:00

photo credits: suwandy

take what you need and be on your way.

2009-03-24T18:58:00.011+08:00

dusk. my favourite time of the day. that's when my house resembles a treasure chest, with golden sunrays peeking in and illuminating the interior. that's when it feels the cosiest.

today is...one of those days.

ich bin müde.

sehr, sehr, müde.

rant #98473927493.

2009-03-22T15:39:00.002+08:00

in my opinion, the worst part of writing papers is citations. APA citation. zomgadelflsafjljfj;lli'a;kjikj!#^@^*&^&%$!!!
oh gosh, i need to get away.

oh lover, i'm lost.

2009-03-14T00:23:00.006+08:00

"Just in this city, in one day, one moment you could see someone, and never see them again for the rest of your life."

- the SPARE

I'D BE LYING IF I SAID I WASN'T INTRIGUED.

2009-03-09T19:51:00.008+08:00

chillin' to yamagata! (she's coming to our sunny lil' island!) today's weather is absolutely fantabulisticalala. haha! i'm not making sense. but goodness, i suspect the microparticles in the air today contain some endorphins that are responsible for making me ditzier by each inhalation! i really should stop ending my sentences in exclamation marks! !!!! alright. enough.

it's one of those crazy days when i feel like putting on a large floppy brimmed hat with an outrageous, gawp-worthy, faux floral arrangement on it along with faking a british accent and then imagine i'm having tea and scones by the garden and exclaiming to my equally pretentious partner about how "charming!" the recently pruned rosebushes look. or maybe ordering waffles "a la mode" instead of just saying "waffles with ice cream" and annoying the hell out of the person behind the counter while i'm at it.

yup, it's definitely something in the air today. but it's not like i can stop breathing or something, so breathe with me!
ah, C'EST MAGNIFIQUE!

sunday--friday--saturday--sunday.

2009-03-01T10:19:00.004+08:00

me: If a superhero has green tears, purple snot, and yellow saliva, what do you think the colour of his earwax will be?

naz: [thinks] Pink.

me: [pause] Okay.

----

PSY333 makes us take the colour of M&Ms, whether our partner has an eye or 3, and questions such as the above, really seriously.

STORM, WAIT OUTSIDE.

2009-02-24T18:55:00.006+08:00

music: love, save the empty by erin mccarley

500+ pages of words + two ink refills + lack of sleep + headaches + popping pills + CAFFEINE + iPod playing on overdrive + zits + frantic phone calls + divine intervention + moments of distress + blank blank = I SURVIVED.

i don't care about the paper due tomorrow (i do), i just want to go watch tv (i can't), i want to stuff my face with ferrero rocher (already did). i want a mocha frap! tralala! damn, i'm delirious.

ANYWAY, WATCH THIS PEOPLE. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

AT MUSING'S END - Wong Fu Productions

Part 1

Part 2

take a stranger on the sidewalk and come up with a story. their life story. or maybe just make them a character of your own story. yeah, i can totally relate to that. ha. me need to go to starbucks soon.

no hearts, no pretty drawings, no poems or cryptic messages.

2009-02-15T21:30:00.003+08:00

when i look down, i can't see past the mess of papers that are arranged in some sort of order on my lap. there's no space left on the table. if i could see past that mess, though, then i would know where my pencil landed when i knocked it off the table...half an hour ago.

i'm going nuts trying to figure out a case. next two weeks will be a huge dose of 'busy' and caffeine. at least yesterday was well spent with sy and ding, chilling at spinelli's and putting my brain on hibernate mode. which explains the very stupid thing that i did at kino...nevermind. sianying, it's staying between me, you and the security guard, okay! it's really one of those slap-forehead and cringe in embarassment moments. >.<

on a less embarrassing note, i've got a new read--catcher in the rye. inspired by ngiam. but that'll have to be set aside for two weeks later, or for any short moments i can steal with it.

till then, back to work, hurrah!

together at last.

2009-02-09T22:53:00.001+08:00

sweet. (:

for a hilarious video series from these talented people, check out up in da club. you won't regret it, i promise.